It was a good day...

Am feeling much better then my melancholy day yesterday about going back to work...I talked to my boss for a while...got out of my pajamas...had some good coffee. There really is something to just getting out of bed. Jon told me on Monday that he had planned to take Wednesday, Thursday, Friday off...my initial thought (sorry Jon) was "why?" I mean, it's my last week, I want to be alone in my thoughts of misery and going back to work and seeing Jonah's sad face when I give him up to someone else to be with him for the bulk of the day. I wondered why he didn't get that...BUT, it's a lot harder to stay in bed and wallow in misery when someone else is around...I fought the desire to just lay in bed this morning and let Jon do all the work of getting Luke and Henry ready to go and to deal with all that comes with that. Instead, I got up, showered, got the boys ready and took them to school leaving Jon to "sleep in" with Jonah (saying "sleep in" here because Jonah was wide awake after all the carrying on). The boys and I prayed for their day and off we went...got back still kinda irritated that there was another body in the house...Jon left to take care of something and I suddenly missed him and wished he was here with us...God in all his wisdom showed me that Jonah needs Jon too. I really want to hog him to myself and be alone with it all, but Jon plays probably a bigger role in his life because he's the dad and dad's are as important if not more important then the Moms. When Jon got back...off I went to detail clean out our van...now, most people would grunt and groan over this, but I LOVED IT! I had 2 hours alone while Jon watched the baby and I contemplated how long the little shriveled up Cheerios had been in our car. I was also contemplating an article I read in Cookie Magazine yesterday called "What not to worry about" by Lori Leibovich which was so timely...again in all God's wisdom... what not to worry about...#1 "I don't spend enough time with my kids"....to quote..."Also, resist the urge to compare yourself to the cookie-baking mothers of misty memories. According to a 2007 University of Maryland study, working moms today spend the same amount of time with their kids as stay-at-home moms did in the 1970s...." So, there you go...I was born in 1969 and my mom stayed home...I'm OK...so they will be OK. Now, #2 spoke louder in my ear then anything else..."My messy house is bad for my children"...again debunked..."...there are potential cognitive benefits of a disorderly house." Hooray for me! "When you work or play in a messy space, you get to 'see a lot of things in one place, which can bring about random stimulation', say Freeland. 'That's a big part of stimulation.'" Hooray again! I feel 10 times better about all of this...to top it all off...Henry came home with a necklace and the sign around his neck said, "Henry used the potty today!" See...I have a husband that loves me, a great job and the end of pull-ups are just around the corner (at least for a bit)...it was a great day and all I had to do was get out of bed...

All good things must come to an end...

What a crazy, crazy 2008...it's so crazy that it's hard to even think of what some resolutions might be as we have no idea of what's really to come. At least we had a nice long Christmas, New Year and I am still celebrating the big 4-0! My wonderful husband celebrated 10 days of "Dawnakah" for my birthday. I received 10 days of gifts since the day after Christmas up until January 3rd...who knew he was so clever. Went out to dinner one night and met friends at a local bar on Saturday. The topper is this weekend...spending 2 nights - no kids - at a spa with 7 of my best friends! The downer...on Monday, my glorious 16 weeks of maternity leave is coming to a fast close...I'm sad, but not devastated...I actually enjoy my job so that takes the sting out of it some. My heart breaks at the thought of Jonah's face as I leave him at daycare. The upside here is that I know it's coming and will come prepared with my entire make up bag and some tissue for the ride into work. It's been a great run...I got to know my sweet baby that has a wonderful disposition and an intoxicating giggle. I also got a lot done that now doesn't really matter much but I didn't do too much and really enjoyed the time. The Tupperware cabinet that I cleaned out in September is a mess again. The attic is even messy and I cleaned that out too. It's OK though...one thing I have learned from baby #3 is that you can only do what you can do...it's all going to get messy again anyway so no need to stress over it. I mean...my one major indulgence is that we have a maid that comes once a month...she was here yesterday and the house was immaculate...but as I walked on the kitchen floor this morning in bare feet...I stepped squarely on a 2 year olds cracker trail and a nice patch of sticky juice from a leaky sippy cup on my way to the sink...so, all the over cleaning will seriously need to come to an end. Needless to say, I am spending the day today in my PJ's...all day...just hanging out and holding the baby, watching movies and eating to my hearts content. Jon has come up with some ideas of "things" for me to do this week...I just stare at the man...sometimes, I really think they don't get it...but he means well and that's what matters. As I contemplate going back to work and the new year...my goals are to:
1) stop cleaning so much
2) give people hope for the future whenever possible
3) play on the floor with my kids when they ask and stop saying "give me a second and I will play with you" when I really mean "give me 20 minutes" because usually the moment passes and they move onto other things
4) pray
5) finish the 5 books that are half started on my night stand
6) cook more...rather, learn to cook better
7) have more date nights
8) remember the importance of having, giving and receiving grace
I think 8 is a good number...anyway Happy Belated New Year...it's going to be a good one....back to my movie...

Angels...

Today Luke was in the back of the car watching the Incredibles...out of the blue he said, "Can God make tools?" Before I could answer...he came out with..."or do the angels make them and bring them down to earth?" Not exactly sure how to answer, I said, "God can make tools...I think the angels can bring them down?" Totally unsure...I mean, why didn't I just say "Yes"? Impatiently he said, "Well does he make them or not?" In the meantime, Henry is sitting next to Luke, saying, "Henry no like tools! Henry no like angels!" (we are in Henry's talking in 3rd person phase) Ok...so, I was about to blurt out a very simple answer... God makes the people with the ability to make tools, which I knew would stop this line of questioning because he would have absolutely no idea what I was talking about...but then he blurted out..."I know...God makes the tools and hands them to the angels who bring them down from the sky to Home Depot. Is that right mommy?" I hesitated..."Yes! That's exactly what happens..." Just a small glimpse of the questions to come to a mommy that does not have all the answers...interesting and exciting...

I wonder what I am doing...

I was contemplating one of my many lists of "to dos"...this one being the "Holiday List" while browsing through Crate and Barrel. I was there to pick up a few small, inexpensive items for friends. I was rather ashamed when I left with $50 worth of things and only $10 of that was spent on friends...can only justify this by the fact that Jon and I aren't exchanging gifts this year...I mean, I need SOMETHING for myself, right? Back to the list....on my list of "to dos" this holiday season I have accomplished most everything but I do have a "Put up lights outside" entry...now, I am not good at putting up any type of decoration outside. I put up Halloween decorations and the spiderwebs looked like smushed up cotton growing out of our trees...people made some really nice comments like, "The kids did a good job with the spiderwebs...it's so cute you let them do it." Jon laughed. Anyway, so, I THOUGHT that we had an understanding that I would take care of the inside decor (because I'm good at it) and he would take care of the outside (because he's male)...apparently Jon doesn't know about this arrangement because until today...no lights outside. Granted, we usually don't do outside lights...but our four year old has begged us to put out lights and what can I say...it's an "easy" thing to do to make the kids happy and joyful. So...I decided that today was the day that lights needed to happen. Now, my journey began with a totally tangled extension cord that was about 1000 feet long...I untangled it (twice) and began trying to "hide" the bright orange cord under the bushes. I was on my knees in the driveway under wet bushes that would sprinkle water all over me when any part of the cord or myself would touch the leaves. After some scraped fingers and a head butt to the brick wall when I tipped over...I made my way through the bushes...untangled the cord yet again. The wondering what I am doing has begun...seriously, no wonder Jon doesn't want to do this...I don't want to do it either....no wonder people keep their lights on all year round...I mean, I would not wish this on anyone! I think of the kids...wonder what Frodo would do...and keep going. I got the lights twirled around the "columns"...this is when I realize that I am not a perfectionist, because at this point I could care less if the lights are straight or even. I have pinched my fingers twice with the staple gun. I can't reach the top or get leverage to staple the things onto the house so I almost stapled my finger to the house. The stool tipped at one point and I almost fell into the already smushed azaleas...I was sweating profusely...then I remembered the baby upstairs in his crib who had probably woken up enraged that the mobile had stopped! I panic and race to finish the strand I had begun...you know what happens when you rush...you just sweat more and more! Raced in the house...baby was fine. My excuse to stop this madness slept peacefully in his crib. Back out to put the Santa sidewalk lights out...now about 50 electric cords later I wonder if the house will catch fire at some point....It is also misting outside...will I get electrocuted? Regardless, the Santa's went up without a hitch...I plug it all in and absolutely nothing...ggggrrrr. What is wrong...plug in, unplug, plug in, unplug...nothing...ah...I forgot the coolest part about the whole thing...the extension cord has a remote...IT WORKS! Lights on, lights off, lights back on...very cool. Jon came home early and said, "You put out lights...eh, eh". Undaunted..I patiently waited for the kids to get home...Luke came flying in the house..."We have lights! We have lights!"...I used my handy dandy remote to turn them on and he had a total look of wonder in his eyes and said, "It's just amazing Mommy!" All worth it! Next year...colored lights! Hope everyone has a very Merry Christmas...Isaiah 9:6

.

10 Things I am Thankful For...

It's really hard to list all the things we are thankful for...I mean in the grand scheme...there is really just so much. I absolutely love it when my 2 and a half year old, Henry, prays for the things he's thankful for...it goes like this: "Ga Bwess Daddy, Lukee, Mer-Mer [for whatever reason, I am always left out of his prayers...go figure]...thank you for milk, monsters, da wain, ketchup, waffles, tigers, elephants...ga bwess baths, birdees..." The list goes on and on which I love. He really just picks things at random which is so sweet because that's really how it is...there are just so many random things to be wonderfully thankful for...it's very hard to narrow it down when you really start looking around. I have a much longer list then 10...but here are the highlights for 2008:
1) Wonderful Husband - really the most patient person I know and very engaged father.
2) Fantastic kids - love em so much! We are especially thankful for our new addition, Jonah. For me it completes thankfulness to come. For instance, Jon now has an instant "foursome" for golf...which translates into more shopping and spa days for me in the years ahead. Hooray!
3) The rest of the "normal" things - job, family, home, car, food in the refrigerator (including some cold beers)...
4) DVR...now this is probably one of the greatest inventions especially when you have kids and you have no idea what is to come hour to hour from temper tantrums to projectile vomit...it really is glorious!
5) The automatic doors on the mini-van. Now, I never took myself for a mini-van kinda girl. But I will never, ever forget when I saw those automatic doors...I thought that I would lose it if I didn't get some and I am thankful every day when I am carrying my coffee, Luke's book bag, a few jackets, a diaper bag, my purse, sippy cups and the baby that I can press a button and drop it all in! Now, I need an automatic front door opener for when I am trying to make it into the house in one trip during the pouring down rain with the 2 poky kids in tow, a baby, the diaper bag, Luke's book bag (now full with school stuff), empty sippy cups, empty coffee cup, my purse, loads of trash, a few groceries and the mail....
6) Friends - We really have one of the greatest network of friends ever...both Jon and I are so blessed in this area...when you have three kids, it's hard to get people to come over or invite you over...I mean the smell of our house alone is overwhelming...so, we are very grateful for our friends that continuously reach out to us. Oh yeah, most importantly...all that free baby sitting. For that we are forever grateful and indebted.
7) Wachovia's maternity leave program...I have had the most fantastic time with baby Jonah the last few months. I recognize that some people don't have the opportunity to spend a lot of time with their babies and have to go straight back to work...so I am appreciative that I work for a great company...even if it won't be Wachovia for long...
8) Ringing in Christmas early! I know that people get so tired of Christmas coming earlier and earlier, but I personally think that Christmas comes entirely to slow and goes by too fast. So...our house has been decorated (minus the tree only because I couldn't find one) since the day after Halloween. It just makes me happy...

9) Dunkin Donuts Coffee. I am so happy I have discovered Dunkin...I am a complete convert from Starbucks. What "got me" was that you can get your cream and sugar put in for you! No getting out of the car and dragging the kids in to the store or trying to put in your cream and sugar...spilling it all over the car and burning myself. They see our van in the store camera and get it ready! They also have the EXTRA LARGE coffee...which really works for me at this point in my life.

10) Being 39 years old...I have absolutely adored my 30's. About 3 weeks after I turned 30, a light bulb just went off and I realized that things weren't really as hard as I was making them out to be and heart break was not all it was cracked up to be. Since then I have met a wonderful man, gotten married, and have had 3 gorgeous kids that have taught me what it really means to love. So, I am sad to leave my 30's on a lot of levels...but I have no doubt that my 40's will be just as exciting as the last 10 years! (I'm really praying that my 40's will bring the gift of patience on a very dramatic level because I'm going to need it).
Hope everyone has a fantastic Thanksgiving....Psalm 118:1 "O, Give thanks to the Lord; for he is good."

Wow!

What an amazing few weeks...I have a job, I don't have a job, I have a job, I don't have a job. Wachovia is Citibank, Wachovia is Wells Fargo, Wachovia is no longer, Wachovia has hope...good grief! What a wide range of emotions the Barnes family has felt these last few weeks. We have the absolute joy of a tiny baby in our house yet the world seems to be in total turmoil. I have tiny moments where I think..."What in the world have I brought these sweet children into?" My hope is that we will feel the brunt of this and they will receive the joy and peace that comes after "times" such as these...because you have to know that peace always comes.

The Zoo!

I had the delight to take my kids to the Columbia Zoo with my mom this past week. It was so fun. I took ALL three kids to the zoo...I'm good! It's going to be OK, we will get through this...it's doable. Now, I did ship Luke and Henry off to daycare today, because, well...face it, I'm tired from our adventure and I want a pajama day for myself and baby Jonah because I'm that good of a mother.